Dashed, on the rocks

HGTV is a ever growing popular cable tv show where depending on the 1/2 hour "show", they will tell you how to buy, sell, clean, decorate, have decorated, or move your home and or garden with the greatest of ease, and with only with a few dollars. (said with the utmost sarcasm)

Recently they have just concluded their annual contest, "HG Dream Home Giveaway".

Essentially they build a huge expensive house, in a perfect location, and outfit it with designer furnishings, throw in a SUV, and then dangle it in front of you for 3 months reminding you that you can enter every day for "Your chance to WIN!"

Tiffany (my beautiful wife) has ever so diligently entered this contest everyday for nearly the entire duration of the event, and last night was the night that they gave it away. We, as a supportive family, huddled around the TV watching as they built the suspense of where the winner was, (by showing a obviously fake hostess that was NOT the most-est) giving us clues on their location.

As the show went on, we deducted the winner lived where it was cold, then found it was in the Mid west, and then...yes, cruelly, right here in IOWA .

As he excitement grew, Tiff was convinced and had also by proxy had our two children convinced that we were about to be surprised by a camera crew, that would immediately sweep us away to sunny fun filled Florida to begin our care-free life in a professionally decorated "Party Mansion". So much so that Devin, our 5 year old was running laps from the basement to the upstairs window checking for the A/V truck, that was surly parked outside by now.

Instead, they reviled a woman in southern Iowa, that by the expression on her face was apparently angered and annoyed of her new prize, then resonated the profound and gracious words of gratitude "uh, thanks" to describe her immense and apparent very controllable enthusiasm.

The events that followed, I will just say are not rated "G", and won't be mentioned here. I would however like to apologize to the lady that won, and her mother about what was said. We're sorry, we didn't mean it.

Never the less, our hopes and dreams of a beautiful home on the beach, where all was well were dashed on the rocks right before our very eyes in one crumby "coming to us live" TV moment.

Damn you HGTV, Damn you and your house of broken dreams.